I believe in all butt squeezes.
Nope. Maybe someday! I have an entire life of learning ahead of me. Exciting stuff.
1- they’re cats.
2- they’re cats.
3- they’re cats.
4- they’re cats.
5- they’re cats.
I’ve been working extra hard these past months to save up enough money to take a few months off doing commissions and just focus on making my next books, and it was obviously a terrible idea considering the giant breakdown that I had these past two weeks, but I finally have enough !!! I’ll have to live very minimally for a while, but other than paying my bills and buying food, I don’t really need anything anyway. I believe in the graphic novel that I’ve been working on so much that it’s become my favorite project, and I’m really excited to be able to dedicate myself to it full time (my coloring book is going along well too. I’m just not as attached to that project)!!!
I’m going to bake a cake to celebrate. or maybe pie. Pie is good. Cake pie? pie cake ? pie cake cookie donut cupcake giant dessert monstrosity ? yes yes. I’m so happy I feel like I could explode (but I won’t do that because it would mess up my apartment and I hate cleaning).
I know it’s scary. All important decisions are. Deciding to recover is hard, not because we don’t want to recover, but because we want it so much. We want to recover so badly that we know if we try and fail, it will crush us. If we don’t try, then we can cling to the hope that maybe there is still something that could help. If you try medication and it doesn’t work, then what? If you try medication and it makes you feel worse, then what? The answer, of course, is: you try something else. Everyone fails and sometimes things don’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Try, and if you fail, try again or try something else.
Maybe if you try medication, you’ll feel like a zombie and have bad side effects, or maybe you won’t have them at all. Maybe you’ll only have them at first, and then you’ll start recovering. Maybe you’ll have a bad experience with medication, then you’ll switch to another kind of medication, and you’ll be fine. Maybe the medication won’t be that great, but it will work. Maybe the medication will work quickly and you won’t need it for long. Yes, there are bad things that could happen as a result of medication, but there are also good things. Don’t deny yourself a chance at recovery because there’s a possibility that you’ll get hurt. There’s always the possibility of bad things, but good things are worth the risk.
If you feel that taking medication isn’t what’s right for you, that’s fine. It’s not right for everyone. There are other things that you can try. Still, if you decide that you want to take medication, don’t let fear stand in your way. It’s okay and normal to be scared. It just means that there is something important at stake. It means that you care, and that’s a very healthy and human thing to do. What matters is that you don’t let that fear get in the way of doing what’s best for you.
I can’t tell you how to make this decision. It’s yours to make. All I can tell you is to do what feels right, take as much time as you need to figure out what that is, and if what you decide doesn’t work, you can always change your mind and try something else.